-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
i) I have a random number generator key chain thing needed to do online transfers that my bank supplies for $5/m
2) With paypal I have set it up so a code that is SMS'ed to me is needed to proceed with any transaction
pi) I don't even have any kids/steps, this is just what I do anyway
infinity) I hope to never have this problem and move out to the country before I have kids...
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Seems to be an all too familiar story Chillerman. The stealing may be a symptom of a more fundamental problem.
Whatever chance you have of moving forward you need to make sure that yourself and Mrs Chillerman (Chillergal?) are working together and always saying the same things.
Little Miss C will exploit any fissure to maintain her lifestyle.
Work on your relationship with Mrs Chillerman talk listen talk listen talk listen. Discuss options and opportunities. Avoid blame (it's pointless: nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks 'I'll skew my daughters view of the world').
Best of luck
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
She should be glad we dont live in indonesia
http://www.bestgore.com/all-the-gore/page/2/
Video's at the bottom of page ............ bet they dont suffer too much with tea-leafs !!!
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
u could always go for a week or even the day!!!- oh that was sick!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
OK, don't go to this website unless you want to see splattered remains of people in crashes, executions, dismemberments, beheadings etc. edit: And a literal version of a 'spit roast' of a girl.
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
mr chillerman yr treating her like a fridge trying to fix her and unfortunately some people cant be fixed thats like a fridge sometimes ya have to give up as time an parts required are way over wot its worth not a good example but sometimes you have to walk away if theres a good person inside her she will come good and come back :) or she wont
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
paul_h
OK, don't go to this website unless you want to see splattered remains of people in crashes, executions, dismemberments, beheadings etc. edit: And a literal version of a 'spit roast' of a girl.
Ah, too late!! Already been there! C.M. :eek:?? Thats horrible.
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
paul_h
i) I have a random number generator key chain thing needed to do online transfers that my bank supplies for $5/m
2) With paypal I have set it up so a code that is SMS'ed to me is needed to proceed with any transaction
pi) I don't even have any kids/steps, this is just what I do anyway
infinity) I hope to never have this problem and move out to the country before I have kids...
Thanks Paul
I have seen the card readers & rang up for one months ago...will have to chase it up
unless it has arrived and she has got it ... room search in the morning I think
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RSTC
Seems to be an all too familiar story Chillerman. The stealing may be a symptom of a more fundamental problem.
Whatever chance you have of moving forward you need to make sure that yourself and Mrs Chillerman (Chillergal?) are working together and always saying the same things.
Little Miss C will exploit any fissure to maintain her lifestyle.
Work on your relationship with Mrs Chillerman talk listen talk listen talk listen. Discuss options and opportunities. Avoid blame (it's pointless: nobody wakes up in the morning and thinks 'I'll skew my daughters view of the world').
Best of luck
Thanks RSTC
It is quite common I think though most keep it quiet(I dont do embarressed), but I always thought it was younger kids that try it & grow out of the habit & learn before they are 19...have had a good laugh today...& maybe can give her yet another chance & talk to her, it's the silent treatment at the moment...too soft...been a boy would have neck rung...the cups of tea have been flowing all day which helps show she knows its wrong but not sure she really cares...just going through the motions I think...was all for up & leaving meself at one point as if it was not for my credit cards she would have took me under this time but why should we all suffer for her ... one thing I have noticed is she is very jealous...I can not buy the dogs a toy without faces off her...need to look again at all the replys...take what I can from them & see what I can work out as possible cause, then see if I can rectify the problem/s
Thanks All
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Hi Chiller man.
you are definitly between a rock and a hard spot.
What about that TV program about difficult teenagers, you are open and radical, sounds like like a last option, seems like if the "she " the daughter is willing it might wake her up to things in life. If not she may go away.
Talk to TV channels about it.
My kids have watched them and are totally for it type exposure. I had only one occassion that a wack in the ear was necessary at 18 years old, I figured it had to happen when he was shorter than me and was the last chance before he wacked me back.
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
She is not a child. She is an adult. She has chosen her path in life. It doesn't matter how she got to be the way she is. She will continue to be the way she chooses to be. When you make your own decisions in life and choose wrong, it is nobody's fault but your own. Welcome to adulthood.
You and the missus need to get together and formulate a plan for defending yourself against her. She will very likely flush her life down the toilet. That's her choice. The only question is whether she will take you down with her.
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Magoo
Hi Chiller man.
you are definitly between a rock and a hard spot.
What about that TV program about difficult teenagers, you are open and radical, sounds like like a last option, seems like if the "she " the daughter is willing it might wake her up to things in life. If not she may go away.
Talk to TV channels about it.
My kids have watched them and are totally for it type exposure. I had only one occassion that a wack in the ear was necessary at 18 years old, I figured it had to happen when he was shorter than me and was the last chance before he wacked me back.
Thanks Magoo
if jail don't sort her though (thought it funny) not alot will I think mate... it's a case of keeping her on side or show the door .... totally lost with one, this time, could not give her a clip she's like the devil in a barbie doll !
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gary
She is not a child. She is an adult. She has chosen her path in life. It doesn't matter how she got to be the way she is. She will continue to be the way she chooses to be. When you make your own decisions in life and choose wrong, it is nobody's fault but your own. Welcome to adulthood.
You and the missus need to get together and formulate a plan for defending yourself against her. She will very likely flush her life down the toilet. That's her choice. The only question is whether she will take you down with her.
Wise words Gary thankyou
It's the way deep down I am inclined to think, just the other half of me does not want to quit, but it does appear to be too late & your right again she is dragging us down, bad atnosphere here full stop due to her actions... even the animals are keeping a low profile, not good mate,
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Cm i have a solution to your problem!
My mrs is clocking on a bit,doesnt do much housework and spends me pennies!
Im thinking of trading her in, how about a swap?? She can brew up and eat cake(quite a bit to be honest), also i would be saving a few quid too so would u and everyones a winner!! Ps shes not fussy on the flavour or how many calories! Haha
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
If you don't own the house, you could just move in the middle of the night, close up the accts, and leave little miss nightmare to figure it out. It depends on whether you wish to "run away from a problem" or run towards a solution", two ways to look at the same situation. Remember ....for every door that closes, another one opens.
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
install monkey
Cm i have a solution to your problem!
My mrs is clocking on a bit,doesnt do much housework and spends me pennies!
Im thinking of trading her in, how about a swap?? She can brew up and eat cake(quite a bit to be honest), also i would be saving a few quid too so would u and everyones a winner!! Ps shes not fussy on the flavour or how many calories! Haha
What ! you wanna swap a good well trained fetcha & carrya for a spoilt brat that just walked in drunk! started crying cause I told her she gotta learn to stop thieving & sort herself out as barbie looks like she been dragged through hedge backwards .... if you can handle that mate ... I can put up with a few cake crumbs !
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MikeHolm
If you don't own the house, you could just move in the middle of the night, close up the accts, and leave little miss nightmare to figure it out. It depends on whether you wish to "run away from a problem" or run towards a solution", two ways to look at the same situation. Remember ....for every door that closes, another one opens.
Good Point Mate, we have other property, 1 cumbria + 1 london ... only thing she knows both ... after a nice day slogging me guts out in the rain today ... I just wait till tomorrow so I can get her some more money ... just kidding ... it will all sort itself out in the end ... maybe thats the solution - end... joint one way holiday to dignitas !
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
as long as she doesnt sit on the couch vegetating watching soaps and shopping-ur on!haha
im in the doghouse for not taking me daughter blackpool to see the lights,only did 71hrs in 6 days,2x 530 starts and a 10hr sat my 1 day off!!!-**** off i aint going-im bollocksed!!!!daughter wernt arsed as long as she bought summit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
What ! you wanna swap a good well trained fetcha & carrya for a spoilt brat that just walked in drunk! started crying cause I told her she gotta learn to stop thieving & sort herself out as barbie looks like she been dragged through hedge backwards .... if you can handle that mate ... I can put up with a few cake crumbs !
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
Good Point Mate, we have other property, 1 cumbria + 1 london ... only thing she knows both ... after a nice day slogging me guts out in the rain today ... I just wait till tomorrow so I can get her some more money ... just kidding ... it will all sort itself out in the end ... maybe thats the solution - end... joint one way holiday to dignitas !
yr seeing this the wrong way now mate with all those houses am guessing you must have a cold damp smelly shed suggest when she out you just move all her stuff into there dig her a hole for latrine and bucket of water for washing sorted no more hassle and winter is coming she be putty in yr hands mate do as she told all the time everytime lmao :)
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Londons mine, this is mrs & cumbria was left to mrs, there are sheds at each ... but am too tired today so was a bit too snappy at her ... she gas gone for the night ... no doubt robbing some other poor sole !
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
have you thought of councilling!!! shes probably sick of seeing u sniffing round a horse!haha,ive got it all to come,currently im like al bundy at the mo-lad wants a tenner daughter wants kickers daughter wants a bag,mrs wants cake,daughter wants cake for mrs monkey ,then they gang up and want me to take em blackpool=like fook!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
Londons mine, this is mrs & cumbria was left to mrs, there are sheds at each ... but am too tired today so was a bit too snappy at her ... she gas gone for the night ... no doubt robbing some other poor sole !
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
install monkey
have you thought of councilling!!! shes probably sick of seeing u sniffing round a horse!haha,ive got it all to come,currently im like al bundy at the mo-lad wants a tenner daughter wants kickers daughter wants a bag,mrs wants cake,daughter wants cake for mrs monkey ,then they gang up and want me to take em blackpool=like fook!!!
argh ! mate
you make it sound like I got it easy, just hope they dont hit her age & fall right off the rails ... its a headache that just dont want to go ... in the end you just dont know what is the right thing to do ...
I am inclined to agree with Gary & its too late for her ... learn if there is something to learn by my probs & avoid like the plague bud ... I joke about it but really its not funny ... without the problem she caused me ... this is a young girls future on the line ... her whole life just hanging ... not good mate not good
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
argh ! mate
you make it sound like I got it easy, just hope they dont hit her age & fall right off the rails ... its a headache that just dont want to go ... in the end you just dont know what is the right thing to do ...
I am inclined to agree with Gary & its too late for her ... learn if there is something to learn by my probs & avoid like the plague bud ... I joke about it but really its not funny ... without the problem she caused me ... this is a young girls future on the line ... her whole life just hanging ... not good mate not good
R's chillerman
best thing to do step away from situation for a while stay at mates for couple of days and switch off from it completly then get a plan of action go home tell them how its going to be and do not be turned from that plan be harsh but be fair but above all you stick to the plan cosistency works you may come over as an ogre but if you explain yr logic and actions and follow through you will feel happy even if it dont work was a last final try and tell her that will add weight to yr words take it easy mate :)
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simon@parker
best thing to do step away from situation for a while stay at mates for couple of days and switch off from it completly then get a plan of action go home tell them how its going to be and do not be turned from that plan be harsh but be fair but above all you stick to the plan cosistency works you may come over as an ogre but if you explain yr logic and actions and follow through you will feel happy even if it dont work was a last final try and tell her that will add weight to yr words take it easy mate :)
cheers Simon
I do need a break & work today should multiply allowing me to stay in London for a bit, good idea mate
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
im in fulham next tues-wed-hotel permitting!!! yay part ay
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
theres a book by guy called david J lieberman how never to be lied to again teaches you how to spot a sincere person and how to interigate covertly also a little on body language and a bit on subliminal programing makes good reading :) dont let her read it though or yr misses lol divorced my ex wife 2 months after reading it roflmao :) taught me a lot its on amazon
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simon@parker
theres a book by guy called david J lieberman how never to be lied to again teaches you how to spot a sincere person and how to interigate covertly also a little on body language and a bit on subliminal programing makes good reading :) dont let her read it though or yr misses lol divorced my ex wife 2 months after reading it roflmao :) taught me a lot its on amazon
:D:D:D
Cheers I might have a butchers but little madam knows I read her like a book, she has not tried lying for years, well she does until I remind her I am the queen of sheba, then just sulks as she knows she can not pull the wool over my eyes, catch her everytime, she dont care no more though, thats the problem...I get the feeling half the issue now days is she is 19 and I have stopped the gravy boat, plus told her get a job, a husband or sign on for benefits... she is too embarassed to sign on but not to embarassed to steal from us ...
twisted morals ... the way she drinks I am wondering if it's just inevitable her nan has lost both legs through drinking ... her dads an heroin adict, with multiple organ problems but still will not give up ... am thinking they just have addictive nature by genes
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
with stopping the gravy boat,means for her to drink then she has to sign on or get a job,so that could be a start,if shes out getting tanked up then she might have more chance of getting a fella. you cant win,give her some blue smarties or detox-she needs a wake up call-
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chillerman2006
:D:D:D
Cheers I might have a butchers but little madam knows I read her like a book, she has not tried lying for years, well she does until I remind her I am the queen of sheba, then just sulks as she knows she can not pull the wool over my eyes, catch her everytime, she dont care no more though, thats the problem...I get the feeling half the issue now days is she is 19 and I have stopped the gravy boat, plus told her get a job, a husband or sign on for benefits... she is too embarassed to sign on but not to embarassed to steal from us ...
twisted morals ... the way she drinks I am wondering if it's just inevitable her nan has lost both legs through drinking ... her dads an heroin adict, with multiple organ problems but still will not give up ... am thinking they just have addictive nature by genes
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
my ex wifes an alcoholic she in out of hospital so much this last yr she be lucky to make 43 she 41 now you cant help them till they admit they have a problem and ask for help i tried fixing her but couldnt do it cos she dint see any problem
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
So sad. No wonder we are focused on our work, as some here only have a variety of problems to come home to:cool:. I've got two more kids, 11 and 13 to get through the teens yet :rolleyes:. So far, knock on wood, they are fine but the 13yo girl now has this fixation on going vegetarian. Her cousin, is a 6 foot blonde at just 15, and my girl wants to look like her. No harm there, except she,(mine), isn't eating the correct foods for nutrition so she's a little on the skinny side. When the two get together, they are sometimes difficult to control.. Same when two members here are online at the same time. Any guesses as to which two Hmmm ;)??
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mikeref
So sad. No wonder we are focused on our work, as some here only have a variety of problems to come home to:cool:. I've got two more kids, 11 and 13 to get through the teens yet :rolleyes:. So far, knock on wood, they are fine but the 13yo girl now has this fixation on going vegetarian. Her cousin, is a 6 foot blonde at just 15, and my girl wants to look like her. No harm there, except she,(mine), isn't eating the correct foods for nutrition so she's a little on the skinny side. When the two get together, they are sometimes difficult to control.. Same when two members here are online at the same time. Any guesses as to which two Hmmm ;)??
Ummmmm, let me guess....Gary and the little brown bear, nooo can't be that. I wonder who then????? MF and Des, nooo, I give up.....
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
You guys are too much fun
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
C.M. I found a vid you might be interested in. It is not going to be any short cut to remove the agression your girl has, but i can see merit in this approach. Watch how this diffuses the anger all parents must feel when confronted with this specific behavior. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9GOM...eature=related
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mikeref
So sad. No wonder we are focused on our work, as some here only have a variety of problems to come home to:cool:. I've got two more kids, 11 and 13 to get through the teens yet :rolleyes:. So far, knock on wood, they are fine but the 13yo girl now has this fixation on going vegetarian. Her cousin, is a 6 foot blonde at just 15, and my girl wants to look like her. No harm there, except she,(mine), isn't eating the correct foods for nutrition so she's a little on the skinny side. When the two get together, they are sometimes difficult to control.. Same when two members here are online at the same time. Any guesses as to which two Hmmm ;)??
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MikeHolm
Ummmmm, let me guess....Gary and the little brown bear, nooo can't be that. I wonder who then????? MF and Des, nooo, I give up.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MikeHolm
You guys are too much fun
Well Gents we are Monty Python Fans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
install monkey
with stopping the gravy boat,means for her to drink then she has to sign on or get a job,so that could be a start,if shes out getting tanked up then she might have more chance of getting a fella. you cant win,give her some blue smarties or detox-she needs a wake up call-
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simon@parker
my ex wifes an alcoholic she in out of hospital so much this last yr she be lucky to make 43 she 41 now you cant help them till they admit they have a problem and ask for help i tried fixing her but couldnt do it cos she dint see any problem
Gents, if she is not going to see how she will end up & be detered by her own dad & nan, nothing will. She gets no money accept what she steals & I will give her money when she behaves but each time I do she just goes & gets drunk, its just a constant merry go round.....sorry to here about your ex Simon
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mikeref
C.M. I found a vid you might be interested in. It is not going to be any short cut to remove the agression your girl has, but i can see merit in this approach. Watch how this diffuses the anger all parents must feel when confronted with this specific behavior.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9GOM...eature=related
Hi Honey ;)
"Thankyou honey I needed to hear that" :D is the reply & the point I stopped at, hope I did not miss something that may have helped .... you are just coming into the terrible teens mate, & I pray you dont have even a tiniest bit of the issues I have had over the years... without fail girls are so much harder than boys to control & I have had the not eating properly stage to stay thin ... I have just been lucky she is natuarally tall & slim .... she eats very well these days, quite often dinners as big as mine & still goes for seconds or desert...thank god
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
.
I have been watching this thread for ages and the replies are varied and in the most, they offer good advice.
You and your (step) daughter are stuck in a repeating cycle and your wife is fueling the issue.
She and you have history and she is where she is because of countless different reasons, but.
But (there is always a but) but the cycle has to be stopped. You and your wife have to be firm and stand together.
Has pandering to the girl, helped her? Has giving in and letting her abuse you worked? if no is the answer then
you will have to try another aproach and you know deep down what that is. Your wife knows also and she is terrified of the conciquences.
But if you have other children what is it doing to them? Is seeing this girl (their sister) totaly running riot and
disrespecting both you, your wife and grandparents, going to help them.
When one of them plays up in the future and you act tough on them they will know deep down you will back
down and they can continue to distrepect you, unless you stop the cycle now your other kids will suffer.
You need to give her an ultimatum and you need to stand by it. If she oversteps the mark again she needs
to be shown you are serious and will not tolerate it.
All the best
taz
.
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Thanks Taz,
we have made a decision & it has been based upon, alot of what you have mentioned ... with all the jokes aside I had read through the many responses (thanks gents appreciated) a number of times & this morning when she turned up she was given enough clothes & toiletries for the week & the door was closed ... it has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do ... but everytime I read through the posts 'Garys' wise words kept hitting home ... its done now & she only has herself to blame, I just hope I dont end up regretting this more than I have by keep putting up with her behaviour
R's chillerman
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
-
Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?
Off topic - needed removing