Elderly Humour

[Grizzly]

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in thecheckout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified,she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their laugh for the day.

I wish I could answer so cleverly at times!

Grizzly

[monkey spanners]

Nice one Grizzly

I did some work changing lamps in co-ops a few years ago and notice that pensioners seemed to buy a lot of those cheerios which always remind me of those go-cat cat biscuits

Jon