bloody horse's

[tonto33]

A man is sitting reading his newspaper when his wife sneaks up behind him
and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. "what was that for? He asks.
"That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket
with the name Mary Ellen written on it," she replies.
"Don't be silly, " he says
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races.
Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on"
His wife seemed satisfied at this and apologized.
Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading
when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him outcold.
When he comes around he asks, "What was that for?"
"Your f*#kin' horse phoned

[chemi-cool]

A husband comes to his polish wife who lies in bed with a glass of water and pill for headache:

"Take the pill" he says...
"But I don't have a headache" comes the answer...

" Very good" he says, "lets have sex than....."


Chemi