Stupid Job Titles

[Brian_UK]

Notified my insurance company about my recent change of address.

Received a confirmation letter back from signed by some numptie whose job title is..

Customer Experience Director.

Not sure how he experiences his customers but....??

[install monkey]

with the made up job title ending in director he must be on 50k plus bonus and drive a bmw(similar executive cars are available)-ask him if he wants a brian uk mousemat or stapler or a set of felt tips to keep him busy

[monkey spanners]

My mate was having an arguement with our then boss about a guy we had to report to at a site, went a bit like this,

boss- report to the facilities manager.
mate- wot, the maintenance guy?
boss- NO, the facilities manger.
mate- so yeah, like the maintenance guy then?
boss- He's got a computer!!!!

monkey- yeah! mate, like logistical engineer!
boss- yeah, just like that!
monkey- fcuking truck driver.....

We both left the office shortly after this exchange :D

[Magoo]

noticed an add lately in local paper for "logistics support assistant".. the giveaway was , must have fork hoist license. It would have been easier to say fork hoist driver required.

[chillerman2006]

I know exactly what you mean Brian, my title is 'Engineer' :D

[chilliwilly]

Mines number 74.

[chilliwilly]

I think that the general company boards just dream up titles as a way of promoting staff so they don't leave. And to justify the position of the HR executive director of titles, their job is to dream up such titles. Just like the executive director of kidology that works for the BSI documentation dept. Has to maintain sales by altering and ammending documents.

[poppypiesdad]

optical glazing technician = window cleaner

[cold.man]

sales engineer !!!!!!!!
they can sell you something but don't know how it works and certainly cant fix it !!!!!!

[leeapole]

im a sales engineer, I know the product from the inside out, i can install it, fix it and sell it!

[cold.man]

your one of few then !!!!! i would say i have met but i haven't met you !!!! i take my comment back in your case then !!!!!! leeapole i apologize.

[RANGER1]

I do a lot of compressor overhauls.
For some reason they call me chief shaft polisher?

[chillerman2006]

I do a lot of compressor overhauls.
For some reason they call me chief shaft polisher?

haha nice one Ranger :D... but personally thats not a title I am aiming for

[iceeee]

worked for johnson controls as an engineer they designated me as a FLSP lmao front line service provider

[Grizzly]

:off topic:Nice to see you joining us iceeee
Been sat on the fence for a while I see.

Grizzly

[cadwaladr]

my son calls me fridge god i worry about that boy sometimes,mind you when he was in his teens he used to call me #*****!!!!!!!! or something like that lmao.

[MikeHolm]

I'm just called "hey you" .....:D

[CHIEF DELPAC]

Mike When I started working I was a Hey You also. Several months later I was promoted to Gofer as in go for this, go for that. Now forty plus years later I have reached the lofty title of Chief. C.D.

[CraigF]

I used to be a compliance engineer!! WTF!! I just changed oil and driers and cleaned condensers!

AKA Maintainance Engineer

[CraigF]

PS i bet someone else on here will recall the days of 'THE MAINTAINANCE'

[valleyboy]

I once had the job title of assistant Froth Plant Operator . I was actually a pumpsman !

[monkey spanners]

My old boss used to call me a floater as i'd be on install but get called away on breakdowns, he seemed to enjoy calling me that too much for my liking....

[MikeHolm]

Mike When I started working I was a Hey You also. Several months later I was promoted to Gofer as in go for this, go for that. Now forty plus years later I have reached the lofty title of Chief. C.D.

yea, chief, but I'm my own boss.....oh well

[mikeref]

Job title? There isn't one to cover all areas of daily life. Business owner, Boss, Bill payer, Debt collector, complaints department, secretary, job allocator, advisor, grief councillor, ( sorry, there is no other way than to spend $ to get this working again ).. Treasurer, spare parts auditor and sales rep. Much like "Mad Fridgie" but on a much smaller scale minus employees and widgets.
Did i miss anything??

[CHIEF DELPAC]

Mike I think PUPPET would be a more appropriate name. What with Inspectors both Govt. and private. Demanding Managers surly employees empire building co workers. At least I dont have to deal with Customers Oh well enough ranting back to Stupid Job Titles C.D.

[stufus]

"Hey you" is a popular moniker.
I have moved up the ladder and gained a few letters after mine,
I'm now known as "hey you, d1ckhead"
Or sometimes Jim ,as in jim'll fix it
Cheers
Stu

[sillycobra]

The 2 titles I have had a laugh at is " sandwich artist " by a well known sandwhich chain, and the receptionist at a Real Estate office was given the official title of " Director of first impressions " haha

Not sure I'd be after the title of " shaft polisher " either lol

[SeanB]

Aircraft avionics - also called the pump jockeys - fill fuel, pump up the tyres and clean the windows....


Oh, and understand just how all those black boxes work and how they make all the fitter's stuff fly without crashing.