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frank
23-04-2009, 08:41 PM
Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.



She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.



Judy again, remarried, and this time, she & John had 5 more children.



Judy finally died, after having 25 children.



Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."



Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret:




"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"












Margaret replied:.... "I think he means her legs, Ethel...."

PaulZ
24-04-2009, 04:20 AM
Hi Frank
An oldie but a goodie.
Here's another.
Mary and her husband Barry went to a marriage counseling after 37 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was Mary went into a passionate and painful tirade listing every problem they had every had over their 37 years of marriage.
She went on and on, neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness and a whole list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally the therapist got up, asked Mary to stand up and unbutton her blouse, he embraced her, put his hands on her breasts, nuzzled into them and then kissed her passionately as Barry watched with a raised eyebrow.
Mary became flushed and started to pant softly. Mary then stopped buttoned her blouse and sat down still in a bit of a daze.
The therapist turned to Barry and said "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week, can you do this?
Barry thought for a while then he replied,
Well I can drop her off Monday's and Wednesday's but I play golf on Friday's can you pick her up?
Paul