The Viking
02-02-2008, 01:41 AM
Having been a member of this great forum for a year now (OK, I know, It's only been 51 weeks), I can't help but noticing that we seem to become harsher towards each other in our posts.
The thing that get me concerned is that it seems to spread like a bad disease (or a STD in a whorehouse if you want). Even frequent visitors, like myself, seems to be dragged in to it and we hit the return button before we calmed our nerves.
Sometimes we seem to aim for proving that we are better than somebody else, other times we just kick off because of a silly remark.
RE is a great resource, it's both fun and educating. Even if I haven't met many of you in RL, I still think you are a great bunch of fellow engineers.
I just think that all of us (me included) could do with a bit more thought before we start typing.
We have a lovely ethnic mix here, I don't think there is a single continent (and not many countries either) that's not represented here.
God only knows how many native languages we have represented here on RE.
And let's face it, generally, we are doing a better job than the United Nations in keeping the peace.....
There will be misunderstandings and friction from time to time but if we all could keep from raising to the bait, we would ensure that this forum is even greater in 2009 than it is today or was yesterday.
A forum is a place where people from all walks of life can come together to learn from one another, debate myriad topics, and to interact in positive ways.
It does not matter who we are or what we look like on the other side of the computer screen as long as we are honest and fair in our dealing with others, including when we interact within the Community.
That compassion for others is the underlying heart of any forum Community.
Of course, sometimes you can't help running into someone who rubs you the wrong way, especially on the discussion boards.
I would like to take this opportunity to throw out some ideas for all of us to help avoid confrontation with other members.
On the off-chance that there is someone you simply can't get along with, we have some suggestions for making everyone's experience more pleasant.
One of the best mental exercises you can use is to post only what you would actually say if you talked face-to-face.
Often the computer screen can seem like a barrier between you and other folks, but keep in mind that words can still hurt other people's feelings.
Remember that members are individuals with their own set of problems and concerns. Having that compassion for each other goes a long ways toward resolving problems and interpersonal conflict.
This Forum provides a wonderful opportunity for each member to meet with others and discuss their interests, ask questions and develop friendships.
It is also understood that there are times when board discussions with other members can feel like they are private conversations, but it's good to remember that it takes no registration to read the posts.
Anyone with access to a computer can see what is written. "Lurkers" are a well-established part of this environment, and it's quite possible that there are many people watching how people react to situations and treat others.
Conflict is often like watching a train wreck: it's almost impossible to ignore two or more people verbally sparring. Adding your "two cents" may feel good for a moment, but in the end it contributes to disputes dragging on even longer.
One of the tricks I found effective in the past is to never post when I am upset or angry.
I like to open a Notepad on my computer and type out all of my anxiety and frustration as fast as I can.
I don't pay any attention to spelling or grammar when I do this, and that is part of the plan.
After I finish getting all the words out, I walk away from the computer for a few minutes and then return to edit. This takes some time and gives me a chance to review what I've written.
I find that I can often say things better the second time around and can choose my words more carefully.
An important part of this medium is understanding that there is no subtlety. Words are taken at face value, and humour or sarcasm are often misinterpreted.
So it's always a good idea to be sure your message says what you intend.
Always remember to focus on the issues and not the person.
Each of us is unique and brings a new perspective to the table.
There are times when the frustration of not having one's perspective understood creates animosity. Please take the time to state issues clearly and to read the replies thoroughly.
Misunderstandings are often the cause of conflict on the boards.
Reading over a post a couple of times will help discern what the other members are trying to say.
If all else fails, stop responding to the person who seems bent on causing problems. The negative poster soon loses interest when they don't see any reinforcement from other folks reacting strongly to their post.
Civility is part of what the message boards are about.
They provide that unique opportunity for each of us to participate in a comfortable atmosphere & we all need to work towards providing access without insult to all of the good people who participate in our Community.
Sorry for the rant, I will get off my soap box now and crawl back under the blanket....
The thing that get me concerned is that it seems to spread like a bad disease (or a STD in a whorehouse if you want). Even frequent visitors, like myself, seems to be dragged in to it and we hit the return button before we calmed our nerves.
Sometimes we seem to aim for proving that we are better than somebody else, other times we just kick off because of a silly remark.
RE is a great resource, it's both fun and educating. Even if I haven't met many of you in RL, I still think you are a great bunch of fellow engineers.
I just think that all of us (me included) could do with a bit more thought before we start typing.
We have a lovely ethnic mix here, I don't think there is a single continent (and not many countries either) that's not represented here.
God only knows how many native languages we have represented here on RE.
And let's face it, generally, we are doing a better job than the United Nations in keeping the peace.....
There will be misunderstandings and friction from time to time but if we all could keep from raising to the bait, we would ensure that this forum is even greater in 2009 than it is today or was yesterday.
A forum is a place where people from all walks of life can come together to learn from one another, debate myriad topics, and to interact in positive ways.
It does not matter who we are or what we look like on the other side of the computer screen as long as we are honest and fair in our dealing with others, including when we interact within the Community.
That compassion for others is the underlying heart of any forum Community.
Of course, sometimes you can't help running into someone who rubs you the wrong way, especially on the discussion boards.
I would like to take this opportunity to throw out some ideas for all of us to help avoid confrontation with other members.
On the off-chance that there is someone you simply can't get along with, we have some suggestions for making everyone's experience more pleasant.
One of the best mental exercises you can use is to post only what you would actually say if you talked face-to-face.
Often the computer screen can seem like a barrier between you and other folks, but keep in mind that words can still hurt other people's feelings.
Remember that members are individuals with their own set of problems and concerns. Having that compassion for each other goes a long ways toward resolving problems and interpersonal conflict.
This Forum provides a wonderful opportunity for each member to meet with others and discuss their interests, ask questions and develop friendships.
It is also understood that there are times when board discussions with other members can feel like they are private conversations, but it's good to remember that it takes no registration to read the posts.
Anyone with access to a computer can see what is written. "Lurkers" are a well-established part of this environment, and it's quite possible that there are many people watching how people react to situations and treat others.
Conflict is often like watching a train wreck: it's almost impossible to ignore two or more people verbally sparring. Adding your "two cents" may feel good for a moment, but in the end it contributes to disputes dragging on even longer.
One of the tricks I found effective in the past is to never post when I am upset or angry.
I like to open a Notepad on my computer and type out all of my anxiety and frustration as fast as I can.
I don't pay any attention to spelling or grammar when I do this, and that is part of the plan.
After I finish getting all the words out, I walk away from the computer for a few minutes and then return to edit. This takes some time and gives me a chance to review what I've written.
I find that I can often say things better the second time around and can choose my words more carefully.
An important part of this medium is understanding that there is no subtlety. Words are taken at face value, and humour or sarcasm are often misinterpreted.
So it's always a good idea to be sure your message says what you intend.
Always remember to focus on the issues and not the person.
Each of us is unique and brings a new perspective to the table.
There are times when the frustration of not having one's perspective understood creates animosity. Please take the time to state issues clearly and to read the replies thoroughly.
Misunderstandings are often the cause of conflict on the boards.
Reading over a post a couple of times will help discern what the other members are trying to say.
If all else fails, stop responding to the person who seems bent on causing problems. The negative poster soon loses interest when they don't see any reinforcement from other folks reacting strongly to their post.
Civility is part of what the message boards are about.
They provide that unique opportunity for each of us to participate in a comfortable atmosphere & we all need to work towards providing access without insult to all of the good people who participate in our Community.
Sorry for the rant, I will get off my soap box now and crawl back under the blanket....