Rebuild

[Greengrocer]

This one arrived by e-mail from my WIFE!

Is she trying to tell me something?

• A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it."

• The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch."

• The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

• The man agrees to talk to his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

• "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken to your wife?"

• "I have," says the man.

• "And has she helped you in making the decision?"

• "She has," says the man.

• "And what is it?" asks the doctor.

• "We're having a new kitchen."

[Brian_UK]

Good to see this one round again, still makes me chuckle.

http://www.refrigeration-engineer.co...73&postcount=7

[Greengrocer]

Good to see this one round again, still makes me chuckle.

http://www.refrigeration-engineer.co...73&postcount=7

You mean to say my wife's been unfaithfull and this is not the first time this joke has been told !!!!

Honest guv I didn't know. As the saying goes the old ones are the best ones. Trouble is I haven't been around as long as you Brian so I hadn't heard it before (Te He).
I'll endevour to be more original next time.

Have you heard the one about the Scotsman, Irishman & Englishmand in a bar........................

[Brian_UK]

That's OK GG, we have to remember that there are always new members coming on line and, of course, the young pups - who know nothing

[Greengrocer]

That's OK GG, we have to remember that there are always new members coming on line and, of course, the young pups - who know nothing

Frank. Talking of inches. Get any snow down your way today?
I got around 8 inches in Milton Keynes & it didn't cost me a penny
Better still another 4" forecasted for tonight. Don't think I'll be going anywhere for the next few days.
There are some benefits working from home after all. Downside is I can't throw a sicky that easily but I can can work in my jim jams. Toooo much information