EuropeanEnglish

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will bethe official language of the EU rather than German which was the otherpossibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that Englishspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-inplan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". Thisshould klear up konfusion and keyboards kanhave 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when thetroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage wheremore komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removalof double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horiblemes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and theyshould go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations ofleters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mortrubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ze world!