Staggering Drunk

[chillin out]

Paddy staggered home very late and very drunk. He took off his shoes to avoid waking the wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.

As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his backside. A Guinness bottle in a back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to scream out loud, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see what damage he'd done.

Bleeding from several cuts, he somehow managed to find a first aid kit and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his way into bed.

In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and bottom and his wife staring daggers at him from across the room.

She says, "So, you were staggering drunk last night Paddy, weren't you now?

Says Paddy, "Now why would you say such a thing?"

"Well," she says, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly....... it's all the Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."


Chillin

[nh3wizard]

Thats a good one Chilln

[The MG Pony]

lol wasn't expecting that one.

[slingblade]

Paddy and Murphy funeral directors are asked to perform a burial at sea. they hire a rowing boat and set off with the corpse. 500 yards out paddy asks murphy "is this far enough out" murphy jumps over the side and the water comes up to his knees, "no" he says.
1000 yards out, "how about now" asks paddy. murphy jumps over the side and the water comes up to his chest
"still not deep enough" says murphy.
1 mile out "how about now" asks paddy. murphy jumps over and the water comes up to his chin, "no still not deep enough".
3 miles out, "how about now" asks paddy. murphy jumps overboard and dissapears for 5 minutes leaving only bubbles.
He resurfaces and says " bejesus this is deep enough, hand me the shovel".

[nh3wizard]

Good one SlingBlade

[The MG Pony]

lmao.
*---------------------------------*

[chillin out]

LOL... Sling.

BTW, threads are free of charge, next time make your own...lol

Chillin