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Thread: Stupid Job Titles
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13-01-2012, 11:26 PM #1
Stupid Job Titles
Notified my insurance company about my recent change of address.
Received a confirmation letter back from signed by some numptie whose job title is..
Customer Experience Director.
Not sure how he experiences his customers but....??
Brian - Newton Abbot, Devon, UK
Retired March 2015
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13-01-2012, 11:36 PM #2
Re: Stupid Job Titles
with the made up job title ending in director he must be on 50k plus bonus and drive a bmw(similar executive cars are available)-ask him if he wants a brian uk mousemat or stapler or a set of felt tips to keep him busy
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13-01-2012, 11:55 PM #3
Re: Stupid Job Titles
My mate was having an arguement with our then boss about a guy we had to report to at a site, went a bit like this,
boss- report to the facilities manager.
mate- wot, the maintenance guy?
boss- NO, the facilities manger.
mate- so yeah, like the maintenance guy then?
boss- He's got a computer!!!!
monkey- yeah! mate, like logistical engineer!
boss- yeah, just like that!
monkey- fcuking truck driver.....
We both left the office shortly after this exchangeMostly found in Oxfordshire, UK :)
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14-01-2012, 04:16 AM #4
Re: Stupid Job Titles
noticed an add lately in local paper for "logistics support assistant".. the giveaway was , must have fork hoist license. It would have been easier to say fork hoist driver required.
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14-01-2012, 10:34 PM #5
Re: Stupid Job Titles
I know exactly what you mean Brian, my title is 'Engineer'
If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !
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16-01-2012, 11:53 AM #6
Re: Stupid Job Titles
Mines number 74.
Training may be finished but experience is never complete.
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16-01-2012, 12:03 PM #7
Re: Stupid Job Titles
I think that the general company boards just dream up titles as a way of promoting staff so they don't leave. And to justify the position of the HR executive director of titles, their job is to dream up such titles. Just like the executive director of kidology that works for the BSI documentation dept. Has to maintain sales by altering and ammending documents.
Training may be finished but experience is never complete.
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20-01-2012, 02:39 PM #8
Re: Stupid Job Titles
optical glazing technician = window cleaner
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20-01-2012, 03:39 PM #9
Re: Stupid Job Titles
sales engineer !!!!!!!!
they can sell you something but don't know how it works and certainly cant fix it !!!!!!your only as good as your last job
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20-01-2012, 04:52 PM #10
Re: Stupid Job Titles
im a sales engineer, I know the product from the inside out, i can install it, fix it and sell it!
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20-01-2012, 05:16 PM #11
Re: Stupid Job Titles
your one of few then !!!!! i would say i have met but i haven't met you !!!! i take my comment back in your case then !!!!!! leeapole i apologize.
your only as good as your last job
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20-01-2012, 09:48 PM #12
Re: Stupid Job Titles
I do a lot of compressor overhauls.
For some reason they call me chief shaft polisher?
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20-01-2012, 10:19 PM #13
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07-02-2012, 08:53 PM #14
Re: Stupid Job Titles
worked for johnson controls as an engineer they designated me as a FLSP lmao front line service provider
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07-02-2012, 09:34 PM #15
Re: Stupid Job Titles
Nice to see you joining us iceeee
Been sat on the fence for a while I see.
Grizzly
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07-02-2012, 09:48 PM #16
Re: Stupid Job Titles
my son calls me fridge god i worry about that boy sometimes,mind you when he was in his teens he used to call me #*****!!!!!!!! or something like that lmao.
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07-02-2012, 11:46 PM #17
Re: Stupid Job Titles
I'm just called "hey you" .....
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08-02-2012, 05:27 PM #18
Re: Stupid Job Titles
Mike When I started working I was a Hey You also. Several months later I was promoted to Gofer as in go for this, go for that. Now forty plus years later I have reached the lofty title of Chief. C.D.
NH3 for me
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08-02-2012, 08:36 PM #19
Re: Stupid Job Titles
I used to be a compliance engineer!! WTF!! I just changed oil and driers and cleaned condensers!
AKA Maintainance Engineer
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08-02-2012, 08:38 PM #20
Re: Stupid Job Titles
PS i bet someone else on here will recall the days of 'THE MAINTAINANCE'
Last edited by CraigF; 08-02-2012 at 08:39 PM. Reason: A recall, due to poor grammar!!!!
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08-02-2012, 08:51 PM #21
Re: Stupid Job Titles
I once had the job title of assistant Froth Plant Operator . I was actually a pumpsman !
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08-02-2012, 09:09 PM #22
Re: Stupid Job Titles
My old boss used to call me a floater as i'd be on install but get called away on breakdowns, he seemed to enjoy calling me that too much for my liking....
Mostly found in Oxfordshire, UK :)
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08-02-2012, 10:09 PM #23
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09-02-2012, 12:05 AM #24
Re: Stupid Job Titles
Job title? There isn't one to cover all areas of daily life. Business owner, Boss, Bill payer, Debt collector, complaints department, secretary, job allocator, advisor, grief councillor, ( sorry, there is no other way than to spend $ to get this working again ).. Treasurer, spare parts auditor and sales rep. Much like "Mad Fridgie" but on a much smaller scale minus employees and widgets.
Did i miss anything??To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
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09-02-2012, 03:18 PM #25
Re: Stupid Job Titles
Mike I think PUPPET would be a more appropriate name. What with Inspectors both Govt. and private. Demanding Managers surly employees empire building co workers. At least I dont have to deal with Customers Oh well enough ranting back to Stupid Job Titles C.D.
NH3 for me
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09-02-2012, 06:16 PM #26
Re: Stupid Job Titles
"Hey you" is a popular moniker.
I have moved up the ladder and gained a few letters after mine,
I'm now known as "hey you, d1ckhead"
Or sometimes Jim ,as in jim'll fix it
Cheers
StuTool's ? check ! Condom's ? check !
If you can't fix it , f*ck it !!!
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20-03-2012, 02:16 PM #27
Re: Stupid Job Titles
The 2 titles I have had a laugh at is " sandwich artist " by a well known sandwhich chain, and the receptionist at a Real Estate office was given the official title of " Director of first impressions " haha
Not sure I'd be after the title of " shaft polisher " either lol
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31-03-2012, 02:06 PM #28
Re: Stupid Job Titles
Aircraft avionics - also called the pump jockeys - fill fuel, pump up the tyres and clean the windows....
Oh, and understand just how all those black boxes work and how they make all the fitter's stuff fly without crashing.