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  1. #51
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?



    She is not a child. She is an adult. She has chosen her path in life. It doesn't matter how she got to be the way she is. She will continue to be the way she chooses to be. When you make your own decisions in life and choose wrong, it is nobody's fault but your own. Welcome to adulthood.

    You and the missus need to get together and formulate a plan for defending yourself against her. She will very likely flush her life down the toilet. That's her choice. The only question is whether she will take you down with her.



  2. #52
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Magoo View Post
    Hi Chiller man.
    you are definitly between a rock and a hard spot.
    What about that TV program about difficult teenagers, you are open and radical, sounds like like a last option, seems like if the "she " the daughter is willing it might wake her up to things in life. If not she may go away.
    Talk to TV channels about it.
    My kids have watched them and are totally for it type exposure. I had only one occassion that a wack in the ear was necessary at 18 years old, I figured it had to happen when he was shorter than me and was the last chance before he wacked me back.
    Thanks Magoo

    if jail don't sort her though (thought it funny) not alot will I think mate... it's a case of keeping her on side or show the door .... totally lost with one, this time, could not give her a clip she's like the devil in a barbie doll !

    R's chillerman
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  3. #53
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary View Post
    She is not a child. She is an adult. She has chosen her path in life. It doesn't matter how she got to be the way she is. She will continue to be the way she chooses to be. When you make your own decisions in life and choose wrong, it is nobody's fault but your own. Welcome to adulthood.

    You and the missus need to get together and formulate a plan for defending yourself against her. She will very likely flush her life down the toilet. That's her choice. The only question is whether she will take you down with her.
    Wise words Gary thankyou

    It's the way deep down I am inclined to think, just the other half of me does not want to quit, but it does appear to be too late & your right again she is dragging us down, bad atnosphere here full stop due to her actions... even the animals are keeping a low profile, not good mate,

    R's chillerman
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  4. #54
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Cm i have a solution to your problem!
    My mrs is clocking on a bit,doesnt do much housework and spends me pennies!
    Im thinking of trading her in, how about a swap?? She can brew up and eat cake(quite a bit to be honest), also i would be saving a few quid too so would u and everyones a winner!! Ps shes not fussy on the flavour or how many calories! Haha

  5. #55
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    If you don't own the house, you could just move in the middle of the night, close up the accts, and leave little miss nightmare to figure it out. It depends on whether you wish to "run away from a problem" or run towards a solution", two ways to look at the same situation. Remember ....for every door that closes, another one opens.

  6. #56
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by install monkey View Post
    Cm i have a solution to your problem!
    My mrs is clocking on a bit,doesnt do much housework and spends me pennies!
    Im thinking of trading her in, how about a swap?? She can brew up and eat cake(quite a bit to be honest), also i would be saving a few quid too so would u and everyones a winner!! Ps shes not fussy on the flavour or how many calories! Haha
    What ! you wanna swap a good well trained fetcha & carrya for a spoilt brat that just walked in drunk! started crying cause I told her she gotta learn to stop thieving & sort herself out as barbie looks like she been dragged through hedge backwards .... if you can handle that mate ... I can put up with a few cake crumbs !
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  7. #57
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeHolm View Post
    If you don't own the house, you could just move in the middle of the night, close up the accts, and leave little miss nightmare to figure it out. It depends on whether you wish to "run away from a problem" or run towards a solution", two ways to look at the same situation. Remember ....for every door that closes, another one opens.
    Good Point Mate, we have other property, 1 cumbria + 1 london ... only thing she knows both ... after a nice day slogging me guts out in the rain today ... I just wait till tomorrow so I can get her some more money ... just kidding ... it will all sort itself out in the end ... maybe thats the solution - end... joint one way holiday to dignitas !
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  8. #58
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    as long as she doesnt sit on the couch vegetating watching soaps and shopping-ur on!haha
    im in the doghouse for not taking me daughter blackpool to see the lights,only did 71hrs in 6 days,2x 530 starts and a 10hr sat my 1 day off!!!-**** off i aint going-im bollocksed!!!!daughter wernt arsed as long as she bought summit.
    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post
    What ! you wanna swap a good well trained fetcha & carrya for a spoilt brat that just walked in drunk! started crying cause I told her she gotta learn to stop thieving & sort herself out as barbie looks like she been dragged through hedge backwards .... if you can handle that mate ... I can put up with a few cake crumbs !

  9. #59
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post
    Good Point Mate, we have other property, 1 cumbria + 1 london ... only thing she knows both ... after a nice day slogging me guts out in the rain today ... I just wait till tomorrow so I can get her some more money ... just kidding ... it will all sort itself out in the end ... maybe thats the solution - end... joint one way holiday to dignitas !
    yr seeing this the wrong way now mate with all those houses am guessing you must have a cold damp smelly shed suggest when she out you just move all her stuff into there dig her a hole for latrine and bucket of water for washing sorted no more hassle and winter is coming she be putty in yr hands mate do as she told all the time everytime lmao
    I can fix broke but I cant fix stupid :)

  10. #60
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Londons mine, this is mrs & cumbria was left to mrs, there are sheds at each ... but am too tired today so was a bit too snappy at her ... she gas gone for the night ... no doubt robbing some other poor sole !
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  11. #61
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    have you thought of councilling!!! shes probably sick of seeing u sniffing round a horse!haha,ive got it all to come,currently im like al bundy at the mo-lad wants a tenner daughter wants kickers daughter wants a bag,mrs wants cake,daughter wants cake for mrs monkey ,then they gang up and want me to take em blackpool=like fook!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post
    Londons mine, this is mrs & cumbria was left to mrs, there are sheds at each ... but am too tired today so was a bit too snappy at her ... she gas gone for the night ... no doubt robbing some other poor sole !

  12. #62
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by install monkey View Post
    have you thought of councilling!!! shes probably sick of seeing u sniffing round a horse!haha,ive got it all to come,currently im like al bundy at the mo-lad wants a tenner daughter wants kickers daughter wants a bag,mrs wants cake,daughter wants cake for mrs monkey ,then they gang up and want me to take em blackpool=like fook!!!
    argh ! mate

    you make it sound like I got it easy, just hope they dont hit her age & fall right off the rails ... its a headache that just dont want to go ... in the end you just dont know what is the right thing to do ...
    I am inclined to agree with Gary & its too late for her ... learn if there is something to learn by my probs & avoid like the plague bud ... I joke about it but really its not funny ... without the problem she caused me ... this is a young girls future on the line ... her whole life just hanging ... not good mate not good

    R's chillerman
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  13. #63
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post
    argh ! mate

    you make it sound like I got it easy, just hope they dont hit her age & fall right off the rails ... its a headache that just dont want to go ... in the end you just dont know what is the right thing to do ...
    I am inclined to agree with Gary & its too late for her ... learn if there is something to learn by my probs & avoid like the plague bud ... I joke about it but really its not funny ... without the problem she caused me ... this is a young girls future on the line ... her whole life just hanging ... not good mate not good

    R's chillerman
    best thing to do step away from situation for a while stay at mates for couple of days and switch off from it completly then get a plan of action go home tell them how its going to be and do not be turned from that plan be harsh but be fair but above all you stick to the plan cosistency works you may come over as an ogre but if you explain yr logic and actions and follow through you will feel happy even if it dont work was a last final try and tell her that will add weight to yr words take it easy mate
    I can fix broke but I cant fix stupid :)

  14. #64
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by simon@parker View Post
    best thing to do step away from situation for a while stay at mates for couple of days and switch off from it completly then get a plan of action go home tell them how its going to be and do not be turned from that plan be harsh but be fair but above all you stick to the plan cosistency works you may come over as an ogre but if you explain yr logic and actions and follow through you will feel happy even if it dont work was a last final try and tell her that will add weight to yr words take it easy mate
    cheers Simon

    I do need a break & work today should multiply allowing me to stay in London for a bit, good idea mate

    R's chillerman
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    im in fulham next tues-wed-hotel permitting!!! yay part ay

  16. #66
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    theres a book by guy called david J lieberman how never to be lied to again teaches you how to spot a sincere person and how to interigate covertly also a little on body language and a bit on subliminal programing makes good reading dont let her read it though or yr misses lol divorced my ex wife 2 months after reading it roflmao taught me a lot its on amazon
    I can fix broke but I cant fix stupid :)

  17. #67
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by simon@parker View Post
    theres a book by guy called david J lieberman how never to be lied to again teaches you how to spot a sincere person and how to interigate covertly also a little on body language and a bit on subliminal programing makes good reading dont let her read it though or yr misses lol divorced my ex wife 2 months after reading it roflmao taught me a lot its on amazon


    Cheers I might have a butchers but little madam knows I read her like a book, she has not tried lying for years, well she does until I remind her I am the queen of sheba, then just sulks as she knows she can not pull the wool over my eyes, catch her everytime, she dont care no more though, thats the problem...I get the feeling half the issue now days is she is 19 and I have stopped the gravy boat, plus told her get a job, a husband or sign on for benefits... she is too embarassed to sign on but not to embarassed to steal from us ...
    twisted morals ... the way she drinks I am wondering if it's just inevitable her nan has lost both legs through drinking ... her dads an heroin adict, with multiple organ problems but still will not give up ... am thinking they just have addictive nature by genes

    R's chillerman
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  18. #68
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    with stopping the gravy boat,means for her to drink then she has to sign on or get a job,so that could be a start,if shes out getting tanked up then she might have more chance of getting a fella. you cant win,give her some blue smarties or detox-she needs a wake up call-
    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post


    Cheers I might have a butchers but little madam knows I read her like a book, she has not tried lying for years, well she does until I remind her I am the queen of sheba, then just sulks as she knows she can not pull the wool over my eyes, catch her everytime, she dont care no more though, thats the problem...I get the feeling half the issue now days is she is 19 and I have stopped the gravy boat, plus told her get a job, a husband or sign on for benefits... she is too embarassed to sign on but not to embarassed to steal from us ...
    twisted morals ... the way she drinks I am wondering if it's just inevitable her nan has lost both legs through drinking ... her dads an heroin adict, with multiple organ problems but still will not give up ... am thinking they just have addictive nature by genes

    R's chillerman

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    my ex wifes an alcoholic she in out of hospital so much this last yr she be lucky to make 43 she 41 now you cant help them till they admit they have a problem and ask for help i tried fixing her but couldnt do it cos she dint see any problem
    I can fix broke but I cant fix stupid :)

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    So sad. No wonder we are focused on our work, as some here only have a variety of problems to come home to. I've got two more kids, 11 and 13 to get through the teens yet . So far, knock on wood, they are fine but the 13yo girl now has this fixation on going vegetarian. Her cousin, is a 6 foot blonde at just 15, and my girl wants to look like her. No harm there, except she,(mine), isn't eating the correct foods for nutrition so she's a little on the skinny side. When the two get together, they are sometimes difficult to control.. Same when two members here are online at the same time. Any guesses as to which two Hmmm ??
    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

  21. #71
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeref View Post
    So sad. No wonder we are focused on our work, as some here only have a variety of problems to come home to. I've got two more kids, 11 and 13 to get through the teens yet . So far, knock on wood, they are fine but the 13yo girl now has this fixation on going vegetarian. Her cousin, is a 6 foot blonde at just 15, and my girl wants to look like her. No harm there, except she,(mine), isn't eating the correct foods for nutrition so she's a little on the skinny side. When the two get together, they are sometimes difficult to control.. Same when two members here are online at the same time. Any guesses as to which two Hmmm ??

    Ummmmm, let me guess....Gary and the little brown bear, nooo can't be that. I wonder who then????? MF and Des, nooo, I give up.....

  22. #72
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    You guys are too much fun

  23. #73
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    C.M. I found a vid you might be interested in. It is not going to be any short cut to remove the agression your girl has, but i can see merit in this approach. Watch how this diffuses the anger all parents must feel when confronted with this specific behavior. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9GOM...eature=related
    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

  24. #74
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeref View Post
    So sad. No wonder we are focused on our work, as some here only have a variety of problems to come home to. I've got two more kids, 11 and 13 to get through the teens yet . So far, knock on wood, they are fine but the 13yo girl now has this fixation on going vegetarian. Her cousin, is a 6 foot blonde at just 15, and my girl wants to look like her. No harm there, except she,(mine), isn't eating the correct foods for nutrition so she's a little on the skinny side. When the two get together, they are sometimes difficult to control.. Same when two members here are online at the same time. Any guesses as to which two Hmmm ??
    Quote Originally Posted by MikeHolm View Post
    Ummmmm, let me guess....Gary and the little brown bear, nooo can't be that. I wonder who then????? MF and Des, nooo, I give up.....
    Quote Originally Posted by MikeHolm View Post
    You guys are too much fun
    Well Gents we are Monty Python Fans

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

    R's chillerman
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  25. #75
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by install monkey View Post
    with stopping the gravy boat,means for her to drink then she has to sign on or get a job,so that could be a start,if shes out getting tanked up then she might have more chance of getting a fella. you cant win,give her some blue smarties or detox-she needs a wake up call-
    Quote Originally Posted by simon@parker View Post
    my ex wifes an alcoholic she in out of hospital so much this last yr she be lucky to make 43 she 41 now you cant help them till they admit they have a problem and ask for help i tried fixing her but couldnt do it cos she dint see any problem
    Gents, if she is not going to see how she will end up & be detered by her own dad & nan, nothing will. She gets no money accept what she steals & I will give her money when she behaves but each time I do she just goes & gets drunk, its just a constant merry go round.....sorry to here about your ex Simon

    R's chillerman
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeref View Post
    C.M. I found a vid you might be interested in. It is not going to be any short cut to remove the agression your girl has, but i can see merit in this approach. Watch how this diffuses the anger all parents must feel when confronted with this specific behavior. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9GOM...eature=related
    Hi Honey

    "Thankyou honey I needed to hear that" is the reply & the point I stopped at, hope I did not miss something that may have helped .... you are just coming into the terrible teens mate, & I pray you dont have even a tiniest bit of the issues I have had over the years... without fail girls are so much harder than boys to control & I have had the not eating properly stage to stay thin ... I have just been lucky she is natuarally tall & slim .... she eats very well these days, quite often dinners as big as mine & still goes for seconds or desert...thank god

    R's chillerman
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    .

    I have been watching this thread for ages and the replies are varied and in the most, they offer good advice.

    You and your (step) daughter are stuck in a repeating cycle and your wife is fueling the issue.

    She and you have history and she is where she is because of countless different reasons, but.

    But (there is always a but) but the cycle has to be stopped. You and your wife have to be firm and stand together.

    Has pandering to the girl, helped her? Has giving in and letting her abuse you worked? if no is the answer then
    you will have to try another aproach and you know deep down what that is. Your wife knows also and she is terrified of the conciquences.

    But if you have other children what is it doing to them? Is seeing this girl (their sister) totaly running riot and
    disrespecting both you, your wife and grandparents, going to help them.

    When one of them plays up in the future and you act tough on them they will know deep down you will back
    down and they can continue to distrepect you, unless you stop the cycle now your other kids will suffer.

    You need to give her an ultimatum and you need to stand by it. If she oversteps the mark again she needs
    to be shown you are serious and will not tolerate it.

    All the best

    taz

    .
    Last edited by taz24; 06-09-2011 at 02:19 PM.

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Thanks Taz,

    we have made a decision & it has been based upon, alot of what you have mentioned ... with all the jokes aside I had read through the many responses (thanks gents appreciated) a number of times & this morning when she turned up she was given enough clothes & toiletries for the week & the door was closed ... it has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do ... but everytime I read through the posts 'Garys' wise words kept hitting home ... its done now & she only has herself to blame, I just hope I dont end up regretting this more than I have by keep putting up with her behaviour

    R's chillerman
    Last edited by chillerman2006; 06-09-2011 at 07:19 PM.
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Are there any women here today ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYkbqzWVHZI&NR=1

    Or Wobber's ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik0cq...eature=related

    If its not a personal question - Are you a virgin ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjz16xjeBAA
    Last edited by chillerman2006; 06-09-2011 at 05:11 PM.
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Off topic - needed removing
    Last edited by chillerman2006; 08-09-2011 at 04:04 PM.
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    oops my bad-links!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post
    Are there any women here today ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYkbqzWVHZI&NR=1

    Or Wobber's ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik0cq...eature=related

    If its not a personal question - Are you a virgin ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjz16xjeBAA

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Off topic - needed removing
    Last edited by chillerman2006; 08-09-2011 at 04:05 PM.
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Ah, C.M. I,m not taking sides here, but i think Frank might have picked the short straw to deliver the news to you. Honestly, if it were me that were cautioned, then i would take a step back and review my approach, something like being stopped by the police for speeding, whether it be 10 or 30 km/h over the limit, take the fine and points, curse under your breath, then move on. What is done..is done. Don't want to see a good engineer banned from this forum..Mike.
    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeref View Post
    Ah, C.M. I,m not taking sides here, but i think Frank might have picked the short straw to deliver the news to you. Honestly, if it were me that were cautioned, then i would take a step back and review my approach, something like being stopped by the police for speeding, whether it be 10 or 30 km/h over the limit, take the fine and points, curse under your breath, then move on. What is done..is done. Don't want to see a good engineer banned from this forum..Mike.
    Fare comment mate....but when I am pulled by police I read them the riot act....tell them who their boss is !!!... let them know what MP we have for dinner and tell them they are just security guards for the streets... they try to tell me & I correct them on their miss-conceptions of the law !!!

    I dont roll over and play dead for no-one ....... and will never take a threat lightly ..... you threaten me then go all the way .... cause I will

    Kind Regards to you Mike & thanx for your concern

    ps: will email you when I get five
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  35. #85
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    This forum is not public property. It is private property and the owner has every right to set rules and eject people for any reason or no reason at all... just as you have every right to set rules for guests in your home. If your guests don't like your rules, they don't have to stick around. I'm not a big fan of rules, but I believe in property rights.

  36. #86
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by chillerman2006 View Post
    3. When posting reports or articles, please give a nod to the original author of the report or article by posting their name either at the top or the bottom of the post. Please do not post a link to the original article.
    This rule is subject to the automated infraction system.
    Sorry CM, I'm lost. A lot of videos have been posted on this forum and i haven't heard the infraction subject come up in this way. Youtube vids are meant to be linked to so I don't see the issue. Am I missing something? Private for public, still confused......

  37. #87
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeHolm View Post
    Sorry CM, I'm lost. A lot of videos have been posted on this forum and i haven't heard the infraction subject come up in this way. Youtube vids are meant to be linked to so I don't see the issue. Am I missing something? Private for public, still confused......
    Sorry Mike....I should have been putting on my posts these were not aimed you (or other posters) I was highlighting a fact for Mods & the Boss

    R's CM
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

  38. #88
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    Re: How Would You Retrofit This Problem ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gary View Post
    This forum is not public property. It is private property and the owner has every right to set rules and eject people for any reason or no reason at all... just as you have every right to set rules for guests in your home. If your guests don't like your rules, they don't have to stick around. I'm not a big fan of rules, but I believe in property rights.
    Pefectly Right as usual Gary

    But if rules are tobe adhered to then lead by example & dont bend them when it suits & jump on people when it does not

    They either stand for none of us or all of us ........ surely thats what rules are

    R's CM
    If the World did not Suck, We would all fall off !

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