A New Element Discovered

[Brian_UK]

I had suspected it existed but was not quite sure.

Queens University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

[lowcool]

rather clever and to the point brian
cheers

[US Iceman]

What happens when you accelerate two atoms of Governmentium at very high speeds and then cause a collision? Do you get zero point energy or just dark matter?

My guess is: A black hole forms.

[NoNickName]

Two or more governmentium colliding form one atom of EU-parlamentium. It dislocates itself and starts orbiting around Brussels, maintaining its inert form.
When at least 600 atoms of toxic EU-parlamentium unite, they are very prone to catalyze molecules of money, and release huge amounts of polluting directives and regulations as a byproduct of the reaction.

[desA]

Governmentium has the highest rate of entropy generation of all known elements. Much of this entropy finds its way into the next generation of hyperbolic-trans-sonic inflatable transatlantic balloons, as hyperbalistic superheated vapour, of apparent infinite non-specific volume.

A daily shuttle service now exists between Europenium & the Obamanation.

[nike123]

What happens when you accelerate two atoms of Governmentium at very high speeds and then cause a collision? Do you get zero point energy or just dark matter?

My guess is: A black hole forms.

You mean black a s s h o l e ?

[Brian_UK]

Boy, I've never seen so many big words in one go.

[chemi-cool]

Never liked chemistry, always smelled bad.

[samiam]

I wonder if they will find Governmentium in South Africa.

Even without any scientific tools - I thinks it also here.

Are there any uses for Governmentium - maybe it can be used in space explorations.

(haha, Keep it up )

[Yuri B.]

Never liked chemistry, always smelled bad.

The root "govern..." sounds very similar to the Russian word which stands for (sorry) - "s**t".