OK Guys! It made me laugh!!

[Grizzly]

A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most
embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:


4th Place
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right
now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After
this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter" .

3rd Place
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggyback ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got
to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole
crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE". My entire family - parents,
grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were
standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state
of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then,
no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.

2nd Place
A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the
items had no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address
system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, "Price
check for Tampax Super-size". But it got worse... Someone at the rear of
the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks',
and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same
public address system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb
or the kind you belt in with a hammer?"

1st Place - And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major AustralianUniversity, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in
sugar? "The professor responded, "Yes, that's correct", adding some
statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked,
"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole
class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her
books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and never
returned. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's
reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question.
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the
tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."

[Colin G]

the one at 3rd place is a good one haha.

[robin r33 gtr]

I found the 3rd one the funniest.

[desA]

Made my day... thanks...

[grahamgfm]

NO.4 wins hands down. Very funny.

[abet_meneses]

All of them made me smile.Many thanks grissly.

[Gimaku]

That was funny!!!!!

So continuing with laughing, check out this jokes!

Doctor: What seems to be your trouble?
Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.
Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.

Doctor (to the patient): Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you
take it?
Patient: Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.
Doctor: Why?
Patient : (Pointing to the bottle) : Because it is written on the label:
Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.

Dentist (to the patient): For God's sake, stop making those noises and
waving your arms. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But u're standing on my foot.

Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me
some guidelines of success.
Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions
illegibly and your bills legibly.

Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?
Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends
told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body's blood would go
into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn't anyone say that all the blood
would go into the legs?
Doctor: The fact's your legs are not that hollow as your head is.

Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted.
Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have
to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.

Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It's all-right. I'm not in a hurry.

Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.
Doctor: Are you thirsty?
Patient: No... I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.

[havertyp]

Brilliant, had to try to stop guffawing loudly at this late hour and waking up the missus! Reminds me of some great clangers that were put together from the 'one-minute-quiz' that Larry Gogan, a venerable DJ from the national music station, 2FM, the best ones are:

Q: What is the capital of France? A: 'F'
Q: Name a bird with long legs A: Naomi Campbell
Q: What star do travellers follow? A: Joe Dolan
Q: Complete the phrase "As happy as.." A: " A pig in ****"
Q: Where is the Taj Mahal? A: Opposite the dental hospital (an Indian takeaway)