Win a council house

[tonto33]

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house!

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer.

Don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week.

A chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.

A few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted.

There local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.

They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, the lorry park or the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France. Go straight to Britain.

You are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.

[SUBCONTRACTOR]

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house!

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer.

Don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week.

A chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'.

A few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted.

There local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.

They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain.

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, the lorry park or the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France. Go straight to Britain.

You are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'.

Question is why Britain always had a soft approach to them ?


You forgot to mension the millions polish they are not a red rose either....

ooops the government promised that only 13000 will come here to join the work force.

and suddenly 2006 y. BBC announced 286 000 people with brits left the country.

now 2008 y. - millions of brits jobless.

[tonto33]

It's a joke!
Get it meant to be funny ha ha etc
you not doin to good are you,
you ask us for work then complain when we put jokes on here
1st off learn the british have great sense of humour if cant, then sure there ferry off this island