Joke of the Day!!!

[Grizzly]

It made me laugh! Grizzly.....

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony.

On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A

gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got

an erection.



The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did

you call for me?' The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?¢ She

said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that

if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'



Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down

on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his

way with her.



Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He

entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a

huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him.

'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you

fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun

him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the

newcomer.


The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was

greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist,

'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you

can keep the $500 membership fee.'



'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You

haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'



'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month,

but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'

[chemi-cool]

Good one Grizzly,

Stay away from beans..........

[kooler]

This trucker was getting it down the road when he pulled over for this cute young thing hitchhiking... "Hey honey, if I give you a lift what's in it for me?" he asks...
She says, "Dust, you dumb *******, I've been walking all day"....

[paul_h]

Told to me by an electrician:

A Sparky (electrician) dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you."

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the Sparky sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive. Is it because I'm a Sparky, the Royalty of all Trades"

"Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty.

"We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!"

The Sparky is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty."

"That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter, "We've added up your time sheets."

[Grizzly]

Told to me by an electrician:

A Sparky (electrician) dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you."

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the Sparky sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive. Is it because I'm a Sparky, the Royalty of all Trades"

"Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty.

"We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!"

The Sparky is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty."

"That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter, "We've added up your time sheets."

I think it would apply to any Country as well!
In fact I have a few colleagues who would appreciate this one!
Nice one Paul.
Grizzly

[Brian_UK]

Yep, put that up on the notice board and there will be harsh words spoken by a few