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Thread: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
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20-02-2008, 11:44 PM #1
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Mental Hospital Phone Menu
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
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21-02-2008, 12:00 AM #2
Re: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
96969696969696
Last edited by monkey spanners; 21-02-2008 at 12:02 AM.
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21-02-2008, 09:41 PM #3
Re: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Now i`m confused.What happens if i am all of the above??
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21-02-2008, 10:45 PM #4
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Re: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
You cannot be manic-depressive and schizophrenic in the same time.
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22-02-2008, 03:57 PM #5
Re: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Sure you can! one of the voices could be a verry depressed one!
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22-02-2008, 05:20 PM #6
Re: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
.......and if you would like to speak to Paul Gascoine, press 9 after the beep..................
I'll get my coat, Taxi for eggs........
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22-02-2008, 05:38 PM #7
Re: Mental Hospital Phone Menu
999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
p?