Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache.' It worked, the headaches are all gone!"

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."



He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.



The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"

His funeral services will be held on Monday


Chillin:) :)

Got any more Chilln

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?






Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!


First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?




























Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!




Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question,

OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?































Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?




Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now

add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?








Scroll down for answer.....























Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!




Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe.



Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

























Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?





































He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.

(Robbed from elsewherel)

Chillin :) :)