The Photographer And The Pilot

[chillin out]

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"


Chillin:) :)

[Peter_1]

http://www.avweb.com/cgi-bin/texis/scripts/avweb-search/search.html?query=short&publication=avflash&category=shortfinal
All real happened

[Peter_1]

These are my favorites

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot.
They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not Been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I didn't land."


While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air Flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose
With a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right
Onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there.
I knowit's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up!
It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell
you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

Tension in every ****pit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"


A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard te following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify Yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

[US Iceman]

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not Been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, and I didn't land."

and


Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

These were my favorites. Absolutely fabulous. I just about fell out of my chair laughing.

People can have very long memories indeed. ;)

Thanks Peter, these are priceless.

[frank]

Is flying really safer than driving ? :D

[chillin out]

Is flying really safer than driving ?
Depends who is flying.

And where you are flying over.

Chillin:) :)

[US Iceman]

Is flying really safer than driving ?

What you don't know can't hurt you! Or something like that.:rolleyes:

[chillin out]

Imagine looking out the window to see this????

http://i1.tinypic.com/mt3x9f.jpg

Chillin:) :)