Painting Blonde

[chillin out]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

[botrous]

A blonde remains a blond , but a blond remains beauty :)

[frank]

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer, it's gonna start any second."

"That's it!" She blows her top, "You waltz in here, flop your ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighed. "Oh ****e, it's started."

[frank]

After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative would be to go home, get a big firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand...

This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, inner London, Newcastle and anywhere in Wales.

Sorry Guys

[chillin out]

A blonde remains a blond , but a blond remains beauty

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/3585/images1ea.jpg
Not always true.

[botrous]

Nice one Chillin , you beated me so i'll have to rephrase , is blong is beauty unless she's ugly :)

[botrous]

Frank , have you ever considered a one man show ??
I bet you'll get a lot of audience if you try the beer can and the fireworks on stage . . . . . .

regards

[neil sailes]

Four Blonds sitting in a pub, every time one of the blonds get a round in they all toast 2 years. After the third time this happens the barman got curious and asked why they were toasting two years for. The blonde replied that we have just completed a jigsaw in three months and it said on the box two years plus.

lol
Neil

[botrous]

Nice one neil . . . .