Grizzly
29-03-2009, 09:53 PM
A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most
embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:
4th Place
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right
now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After
this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter" .
3rd Place
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggyback ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got
to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole
crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE". My entire family - parents,
grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were
standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state
of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then,
no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
2nd Place
A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the
items had no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address
system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, "Price
check for Tampax Super-size". But it got worse... Someone at the rear of
the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks',
and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same
public address system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb
or the kind you belt in with a hammer?"
1st Place - And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in
sugar? "The professor responded, "Yes, that's correct", adding some
statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked,
"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole
class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her
books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and never
returned. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's
reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question.
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the
tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."
embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four were:
4th Place
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right
now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy's willie last night.' After
this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter" .
3rd Place
"It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggyback ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got
to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole
crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE". My entire family - parents,
grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were
standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state
of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then,
no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.
2nd Place
A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the
items had no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address
system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, "Price
check for Tampax Super-size". But it got worse... Someone at the rear of
the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks',
and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same
public address system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb
or the kind you belt in with a hammer?"
1st Place - And the winner is . . .
This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in
sugar? "The professor responded, "Yes, that's correct", adding some
statistical data to his lecture. Raising her hand again, the girl asked,
"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole
class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her
books, and without another word, walked out of the class - and never
returned. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor's
reply was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question.
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the
tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat."